


It's All Your Fault

by Caedo



Category: Descendants (2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, M/M, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-04-19 20:17:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4759616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedo/pseuds/Caedo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay and Carlos to  stupid to realize they love each other keep hurting each other instead.  (This summary sucks I know)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alone in my head

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic. If people like it I will post more. I have an idea where I want this to go and will try to put chapters up on a regular schedule. I suck at naming things so please forgive the chapter titles.

Carlos looked over at the empty bed next to his and then at the clock on the nightstand - 3:00AM - where in Auradon could Jay be? True Jay broke curfew most nights but he was never this late and Carlos was starting to worry. It was bad enough that he couldn’t fall asleep without Jay in the room he didn’t even think he would be able to function if Jay got sent back to the island. He could feel himself starting to panic at the thought of Jay being sent away. Heart racing Carlos got up from the bed, waking Dude up in the process. The dog lifted his head and gave Carlos a sideways glance watching him and he made his way over to the bathroom. Carlos splashed water on his face as he tried to get his breathing under control. He told himself he was worrying over nothing after all Jay never got caught when they were on the island so there was no way the good trusting people on Auradon would ever catch him. 

Once he felt calm, Carlos walked back into the room and went over to the two empty bed but instead of climbing back into his he laid down on the floor in between his and Jay’s. He hadn’t slept on the floor since coming to Auradon and if anyone saw him he wouldn’t be able to explain why he was laying there now. Sleeping on the floor just felt right so he curled up into a ball and closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. He heard Dude jump down from the bed and felt his wet nose against his arm as the little dog tried to cuddle against him but Carlos just pushed the dog away and gripped himself tighter. He heard Dude whine as he walked away but Carlos couldn’t bring himself to care that he made the dog sad. The only thing he could focus on was wondering where Jay was. 

Everytime he felt like he was going to fall asleep he thought he heard someone at the door and he would jump up and stare at the door and wait for Jay to walk through but no one ever came. At some point he just gave up on trying to fall asleep and on Jay. Instead he just laid there and let his mind wander, thinking up worse and worse scenarios about what could have prevented Jay from coming back. He couldn’t even tell you when he started crying or how long the pair of arms that he now felt were wrapped around him. It took him a minute to recognize Evie’s voice as she tried to calm him down, whispering to him that everything was okay; that he was safe; that his mom couldn’t reach him here. 

“E, it’s been over an hour” That was Mal’s voice “Someone is going to come looking for us soon if we don’t get to class.”

“Then go” Carlos could hear the worry in Evie’s voice as she spoke. “Tell them Carlos is sick and I’m just making sure he’s okay before coming to class.” Mal opened the door and got ready to leave. “and Mal if you see Jay…”

“I’ll make sure to send him up here right after I kick his ass for leaving Carlos like this” And with that Mal walked out the door and down the hall. 

At the mention of Jay’s name Carlos’ let out an audible sob. Evie and Mal were talking as if they hadn’t seen him either and that means. Carlos forced himself out of Evie’s arms and crawled under his bed. He began rocking back and forth, the tears and sobs coming from him were primal. Something happened to Jay he was certain of it and he was never going to see him again. 

“Mal!!” Evie ran out the room screaming for her friend. Mal ran back down the hall and saw the terror in Evie’s face. “Forget class, find Jay now” The guttural sound of Carlos’ crying hit the two young girls and Mal raced off in search of the only person who could help. 

Once again Carlos lost track of time. He could hear the sound of the door opening and closing several times and the sounds of voices in his room talking to each other and to him. Evie trying to coax him out from under the bed. Ben promising him that he was safe and that no one or anything could hurt him here. He could even hear Dude whining not understanding what was wrong with his master. It wasn’t until the door slam open and a pair of strong arms forcibly pulled him out from under the bed that reality crashed back down on him. 

Carlos collapsed into Jay’s arms and buried his head into the larger boy’s chest. He could feel Jay’s fingers comb through his hair as his other hand traced small circles along his lower back around the small scar he had there. It was the first scar his mother had ever given to him, putting out a cigarette on his back when he was only 3 after he had gotten dirt on one of her furs. Jay was the only person who knew about the significance of the mark as time had made the scar shrink in comparison to all the others. Carlos did his best to try and lose himself in Jay’s warmth and his scent - wishing that everyone else would just leave now so they could be alone, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. Everyone was worried and he knew they weren’t going to leave until he said something. 

He peaked his head out and took in his friends who had gathered in the room. Evie was sitting on Jay’s bed, her perfect make-up smeared from tears. She looked down at the two boys and gave Carlos a half hearted smile. It pained him knowing that he was the reason she had been crying and he tried his best to give him a reassuring smile of his own. Standing over by the table in the middle of the room Mal was busy talking to Ben in hushed tones. He couldn’t hear what she was saying but he saw her mouth the word “Cruella” and watched the horror that came over Ben’s face. 

Lastly he looked up at Jay and instantly regretted it. The look in his eyes was nothing but pure rage. It stood in stark contrast to the warmth and comfort Carlos felt in the boys arms. Carlos started to pull away “It’s okay Jay, I’m better now”. Jay looked at him and hugged him tighter before lifting him up and laying him down on his bed.

“Everybody out” Jay’s voice was clear that this wasn’t a request. He still heard Evie and Mal start to protest but Jay voice just took on a harder edge as Carlos heard him say “NOW!” and his other friends (including Dude) just shut up and walked out the room leaving Carlos alone with Jay. He heard the lock slide on the door and then felt his mattress sink and Jay laid down on his bed. Neither boy said anything as Jay pulled Carlos into his arms again turning him so that they laid together face to face. “Okay we’re alone now so talk”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Told from Jay's point of view. It doesn't really progress the story as it is mostly flashbacks to Jay and Carlos as kids on the island. I'm still trying to figure out how I want this to work but I'm thinking the Carlos chapters will progress the main story while the Jay chapters will fill in the past and help form the basis of the relationship that I promise will happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning to those sensitive to abuse - I don't write about the actual beating but I do write about the physical wounds. None of this is edited by anybody but autocorrect so please forgive any mistakes. I tend to write free form and go with what feels right when I'm writing it.

Jay laid out on the tourney field looking up at the stars and let his mind wander. He couldn’t believe just how many there were. He closed his eyes and thought about how back on the Island they were lucky to catch a glimpse of one or two stars what with the barrier overhead obscuring the night sky. He remembered one night when he was probably around 12 running along the rooftops when he saw his first star. His father had just gotten done yelling at him about the day’s haul and he just needed to get away. He had climbed to the top of his father’s shop and noticed a bright light in the distance over Hell Hall. Normally he would have stayed away, he had heard stories of things Cruella would do to people she found trespassing on her property, but something about the light drew him toward it. As he got closer he noticed the light coming from the sky and figured that if he stuck to the roof no one would even know he was there. 

He had been watching the light twinkle in the night sky for almost a hour when he suddenly heard yelling and the sound of objects being thrown around. Afraid he had been caught Jay got ready to make a run for it when he looked down and saw the little boy run out the back door toward the treehouse in the distance. Soon the door to the house slammed open and there stood Cruella De Vil, she was screaming at the boy and he made his way up the ladder and watched as something flew at him, hitting the boy in the arm almost causing him to fall. But the boy managed to hang on and make it into the treehouse. Jay heard the thud as the boy slammed the floor hatch into place and listened as Cruella continued shouting threats and obscenities at the boy. 

After what seemed like an eternity the yelling stopped and Jay looked over at the treehouse and saw the boy looking over at him. At first Jay thought about just getting out of there but the more he looked at the boy the more he felt compelled to go over to the treehouse. As he started to move the boy disappeared from the treehouse window. He could hear a faint sound coming from the treehouse but couldn’t make it out and the closer he got the stranger the sound became. He knew now that he was hearing one of Carlos’ panic attacks but back then he had never heard or seen anyone cry before. He quickly made his way up the tree, afraid that Cruella might still be around and would see him. The door in the floor was locked so Jay just climbed in through the window and froze. 

The boy he saw in the window just a few seconds ago was curled up into a ball and he was making all sorts of strange noises. Jay’s first instinct was to run, he didn’t know this kid or what his problem was but the one thing he did know was that on the island you didn’t get involved with other people's problems. It was the only thing his father ever taught him. He always repeated over and over “There is no team in I”. But there was something about this boy. He didn’t have any real memories of his mother, just a general feeling of warmth and of being loved and it was the same thing he was feeling now. He got down on the floor next to the boy and took him into his arms holding him close. Jay ran his fingers through the boy’s hair and just let him cry. 

Jay could feel the boy start to squirm in his arms as he finally calmed down. Releasing him, Jay finally got a real good look at the boy and what he saw shocked him. His hair was white with dark roots and his face was coated freckles and holy shit this was Carlos De Vil. Jay jumped up and backed toward the window and was about ready to jump out when he heard the boy, Carlos, start to cry again. The sound stopped Jay dead in his tracks. He knew he had to go, there parents hated each other and if his dad or Carlos’ mom found out they were together they would both be in serious trouble but he just could leave. He sat down next to the boy and put his arm around his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere” Carlos looked up at him and smiled and Jay knew there was no place else in the world he would rather be. 

Jay woke up with a smile on his lips and the sun on his face. He was thinking about how the stars reminded him of the freckles on Carlos’ face when it hit him. The sun was up! He had fallen asleep! “Shit - what time is it?” Jay looked at the watch on his wrist - 7AM. He was going to be late for class and he still had to make it back to his room, shower and change. He would never hear the end of it if he went to class in the same clothes from yesterday. The kids at Auradon Prep may all be “good” but they were judgmental as hell. Walking across the Tourney field he watched the other kids as they walked from the dorms to the dining hall for breakfast. He wasn’t too worried because he knew Carlos would grab him something to eat - he always did when Jay was running late.

Jay took his time, not wanting to walk in while everyone was walking out. He was watching the door when Mal burst out. He was ready to call her over when she ran over to Ben. He still didn’t understand how the two of them were together, but they made a cute couple. Or at least they did - Mal was talking to Ben and Jay could see the young king became visibly upset before rushing into the dorms. Jay thought now would be a good time to disappear into the crowd, not wanting to listen to his friend complain about some sappy thing that Ben did to make her angry. Then he got a good look at Mal’s face and she didn’t look mad, she looked upset - almost on the verge of panic. Jay started jogging toward his friend ready to go and kick Ben’s ass for whatever he did no matter how stupid. 

“Jay!” The way Mal yelled his name made him slow down. “Where the fuck have you been?” Jay was about to come up with some witty excuse when she looked at him; almost in tears “Carlos…”

Whatever else Mal said was completely lost. He ran into the dorms like he was being chased after getting caught stealing something back on the island. He realized he had no idea where he was going but figured that if Ben ran into the dorms that was a safe direction to go. All his attention was focused on getting to Carlos as quickly as possible. If anybody hurt him he was going to murder someone and to hell with the consequences. He got to his dorm room and threw open the door and the sound of Carlos’ cries nearly destroyed him. He didn’t even acknowledge anyone else in the room as he practically stepped on Evie to get to Carlos. He pulled him out from under the bed and held him tight, his hand instinctively stroking the younger boy’s hair and the small of his back. 

He had been dealing with Carlos’ panic attacks since the day he met the boy but he could only remember one time when it was ever this bad before. It was Carlos’ 10th birthday. Now birthday’s on the island weren’t really celebrated anymore - not after that fiasco with the Evil Queen’s and Maleficent's daughters, but still turning double digits was a big deal and Jay wanted to do something special for Carlos. He only knew the kid for a few months but he genuinely liked him and deep down he knew whatever they were it was more than just friends. He had spent the entire day looking for just the right thing present and finally found it as the shops were beginning to close up. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was, it looked like a laptop but there was only the screen and no keyboard, and he was almost certain it was broken but if anybody could fix it, it was Carlos. The boy was a genius and even if he couldn’t get it working again he was sure Carlos would just make something even better from the parts. 

Jay made his way to the treehouse where they typically met up. They saw each other pretty much every day, Jay helping Carlos with his “chores” as Cruella called them and Carlos helping Jay by fixing stuff he would steal for his Jafar’s shop. Their parents still didn’t know that they hung out so Jay had to be careful not to be seen. He quietly slipped through the window and was happy to see it was still dark inside. That meant Carlos wasn’t there yet and he had time to wrap his gift in that old newspaper he swiped on the way over. As he reached for the light switch he felt a hand on his stopping him. 

“Don’t, please” Carlos managed to squeak out before pulling his hand away. Jay could tell that he had been crying but he couldn’t understand why Carlos wanted to keep the lights off. Jay flicked the switch anyway and really wished he hadn’t. Carlos’ right eye was bruised and swollen shut, he had a cut on his lip and the red shirt he was wearing was ripped everywhere like someone had been clawing at it. 

“What happened?” Jay was used to Carlos having fresh cuts and bruises regularly, Cruella always found some reason to hit her son. Jay was certain that she found some sick pleasure in it knowing that Carlos would never fight back. Still ever since they started helping each other things seemed to getting better. At least judging by the scars Jay had seen on Carlos whenever he took off his shirt. Jay reached out to pull Carlos into a hug to let his friend know that he was there for him just like all the other times but instead of leaning into the embrace Carlos flinched and moved back causing Jay’s hand to brush the front of Carlos’ shirt. Jay looked down at his hand and saw it was red and sticky. 

“Carlos come here” Jay reached for him again and Carlos moved back again causing him to bump into his work desk. Carlos yelped in pain and jumped forward right into Jay’s arms. Jay turned him around and instead of claw marks he saw large gashes and burn marks on the back of Carlos’s shirt - a shirt that clearly used to be white. His hands shaking Jay slowly peeled the shirt off of Carlos’ body and what he saw made him want to throw up. Large red welts covered Carlos’ back some of them crusted over with blood, although most of them luckily (if you call getting whipped by your mother lucky) didn’t show signs of breaking the skin. It was the reason why his shirt was still mostly white. 

Jay slowly turned Carlos around. He was afraid of what he would find considering the front of his shirt had turned completely red. Jay took one look and turned around. He couldn’t bring himself to look. If he did, he knew that he would completely break down and right now Carlos needed to him to be strong. He willed the tears not to fall and he slowly turned back around. Carlos’ chest and stomach were covered in scratches, some of them were shallow and some looked like parts of his flesh was gouged out, but all of them were red and oozing with blood. Looking at his friend Jay felt powerless. He had to do something but what could he do. He was only 12 and Cruella was one of the most vicious villains on the island. Still he had to try. 

“I’m going to kill her” Jay headed toward the window ready to walk directly into Hell Hall and smother Cruella with her own furs. That would be poetic justice. As he reached the window he heard a whisper come from Carlos. 

“Jay don’t. She’ll hurt you too and, and …” Carlos’ voice broke and he started to shake. Tears began streaming down his face and his breathing became erratic. Jay watched as the small boy collapsed like he was trying to crawl inside himself. Jay was at his side in an instant and quickly wrapped the boy in his arms. 

“It’s okay Carlos, I’m not going anywhere, I promise” He placed a small kiss on top of the boy’s head and ran his fingers through his hair. Once Carlos calmed down, Jay took his thumb and ran it across his cheeks wiping away the tears. He then got up and found a semi-clean rag and some water and began to careful clean each one of the wounds on Carlos’ body. He could feel Carlos wanting to pull away when he cleaned out some of the deeper wound but to his credit he stood firm. 

When he was finished Jay went to take off his jacket to give Carlos his t-shirt so the boy had something to cover the wounds when his gift to Carlos fell to the floor. Carlos saw it and just like that the light that was gone from his eyes was back and Jay motioned for him to pick it up. 

“Happy birthday Carlos. I don’t think it works but I’m sure you could fix it …” Jay stopped talking as he felt Carlos press his lip against his. It was quick and sweet and innocent and for once words failed him, so he just held Carlos in his arms and the two boys wound up falling asleep without a care in the world. 

Jay snapped back to reality as he felt Carlos begin to relax in his arms. He slowly loosened his grip and looked down into Carlos’ eyes as the boy told him he was okay. He tried to calm himself but he could tell from Carlos’ expression that it wasn’t working. Suddenly the room felt extremely crowded and he just wanted everyone out. He pulled Carlos into his arms and lifted him off the floor placing him in the bed. Then he turned toward his friends and told everybody to get out. He heard Evie start to protest and knew that Mal would soon join her so he put more of an edge to his voice and made it clear that them staying was not an option. It may have worked a little too well as he watched Dude slink out the door along with the others, the little dog’s tail tucked between his legs. He was going to have to make it up to the little guy later or else Jay knew from experience he was going to find a surprise in one of his shoes. 

Jay went over and locked the door so his friends couldn’t come back in (he was grateful that Mal never lifter the spell she placed on the room so no one could hear them when they were plotting to steal Fairy Godmother’s wand). He slowly made his way over to the bed and laid down next to Carlos. Pulling the boy into his arms again he looked him in the eyes. “Okay we’re alone now so talk”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some notes - Jay falling asleep on the Tourney field is not what keeps him out late most nights. I'll get to that soon.  
> \- I am going to do my best to update this once a week from now on. Maybe twice if the chapters are short.  
> -I also promise things will get happier just maybe not for a while  
> \- Oh and I realize I suck at naming chapters so it's just going to be numbers from now on


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The people you love can hurt you the most.

Carlos looked into Jay’s eyes, quickly glanced away and buried his face into the pillow next to him. He didn’t want to talk now. He just wanted to forget what just happened. It didn’t matter anymore anyway. Jay was here and everything was okay again. Except it wasn’t. He knew his friends weren’t going to let this go and while it would be easy to lie to Evie, Mal and Ben, he knew Jay would see through any lie he told. He had to come up with something that was close enough to the truth so that Jay would believe him. 

Carlos slowly poked his head out and looked at Jay. If this was going to work he couldn’t look him it the eyes. Had to focus somewhere else. His mouth that would work. Nope; now all Carlos could think about was how close Jay was and how if he just leaned in a little there lips would touch and that made him think about the first (and only) time they kissed and suddenly Carlos was bright red. He had to focus on somewhere else and why did Jay have to be so damn sexy. FInally Carlos just buried his face back into the pillow and let out a groan. 

“It’s okay man, we all know what you went through.” The anger had left Jay’s voice but he could still hear the edge that it carried. Jay had three distinct moods; angry Jay tended to lash out at whatever made him angry, which was usually whoever hurt Carlos. How many fights had Jay gotten into on the island because someone talked shit about Carlos or had hit him. By the time they had left the island the kids and most adults didn’t bother Carlos for fear of what Jay would do to them if they did. 

Jay’s other mood was the complete opposite. Carlos was reluctant to call it “happy” because none of them were ever truly happy on the island. It was more like Jay’s default mood. This was the Jay most people met and fell in love with. The Jay who could flirt his way into any girl’s heart, the Jay who could talk anyone into giving him exactly what he wanted. It was the the version of Jay that Carlos hated because he knew it was all an act. Sure Carlos went along with it, he really had no choice. He remember saying something about it once and Jay hadn’t talked to him for a week. 

Then there was the Jay who was laying next to him right now. This was the real Jay, and the only time Jay was like this was when they were alone together. It was the jay who would comfort him and take care of him when he was hurting. Sure others knew that Jay protected Carlos and that he was capable of calming Carlos down but no one saw them alone. When they were alone, Jay let all of it go. There was no false charm, no need to impress or scare anyone. Still it was this Jay who scared him the most because it was this Jay that was the most unpredictable.

“It’s stupid Jay...I’m embarrassed to even talk about it” Carlos mumbled into the pillow, hoping against hope that Jay would accept it and they would move on. He could feel Jay get up from the bed and heard him walk toward the bathroom and closed the door. Carlos peaked his head out and when he didn’t see Jay he decided to sit up. He was thinking of sneaking out of the room before Jay got out of the bathroom, sure Jay would be pissed but it would give him time to come up with a believable story. The he heard it - the sound of glass breaking. He ran to the bathroom and threw open the door, thankfully Jay didn’t lock it. The mirror was broken and Carlos could see blood dripping from Jay’s hand and onto the floor. 

“Jay what the hell…” Carlos took ahold of Jay’s hand and started picking shards of glass out of the hand. Jay didn’t even move as Carlos went about cleaning and bandaging the wound. Jay would have to go see the nurse later to make sure he didn’t do any permanent damage but looking at the bandaged hand Carlos was satisfied with his work. He also knew that he had to talk or else Jay would continue to hurt himself. Carlos took him by the hand and led him back to the bed and made him sit down. Carlos then sat himself on the floor in between Jay’s leg and leaned his head on the older boy’s thigh. 

“I dreamt last night that Cruella got off the island” Carlos started talked as Jay began to play with the boy’s hair. “She managed to escape when the barrier came down before they were able to put it back up. I woke up to her standing over my bed smiling down at me smoking one of her cigarettes. She never said a word” Carlos shudder at the thought of his mother. He leaned into Jay’s touch getting comfort just from the older boy’s presence. “She just stood there looking at me before she slowly turned her head and looked over at your bed. I tried to say something, to wake you up but I could speak and then when I looked at your bed you were already gone. Then she started laughing and disappeared.” 

Tears were starting to fall as he recounted the dream he had. “So when I woke up this morning and you weren’t in bed; I thought it was real and I just…” Carlos’ voice broke and he began to sob again. He wasn’t sure if he was crying because of the dream or because of the fact that he was lying to Jay. It wasn’t a total lie, he did have the dream although it had been weeks. He just couldn’t bring himself to tell Jay the truth although he didn’t know why. It’s not like Jay would judge him or be mad. If anything Jay would probably go out of his way to make sure it never happened again and while Carlos would like that he would feel guilty about stopping Jay from doing...whatever it was he was doing.

He felt Jay pick him up from the floor so that Carlos was standing in front of him. He wiped away the tears from his eyes and looked at Jay expecting to see his trademark smirk and hearing some witty comment. Instead Jay has a scowl on his face. “You want to try telling me that story again and not lying this time.” Carlos didn’t get it - how could he know he was lying. Sure no one knew him better than Jay but it just didn’t make sense. He tried to think of what to say but he couldn’t think of anything. 

“Come on Carlos, you can’t expect me to believe that dream is what brought on an attack like that” Jay had moved away from him and started pacing the length of the room. “I mean really how many of your attacks have I witnessed. Not to mention I remember you telling me about that dream weeks ago or don’t you remember me coming home that night finding you asleep in my bed with my Tourney Jersey.” 

Carlos’ face flushed at the memory of that night. How could he have forgotten that, when Carlos woke up the next morning he was in Jay’s arms being spooned by the taller boy. His mind raced trying to come up with something, anything to say. Jay kept walking back and forth in front of him. “Plus Ben had his people confirm our parents and everybody else are still on the island so having that dream again, let alone having it scare you to the point that it did...I don’t believe it. So out with it what happened? Was it Chad, did he threaten you again cause if he did I swear I will…”

“It wasn’t Chad, it wasn’t anybody… I just had a bad dream is all and I over reacted. Can’t we please just let this go.”

“No!” Jay looked Carlos in the eyes “and stop fucking lying to me. Now tell me or should I just go to Evie and tell her to ask the mirror? Either way someone is going to regret having messed with you.”

Carlos started crying again but this time out of frustration. Why couldn’t Jay just let this go. He was fine now. Isn’t that all that really matter. He looked back at Jay and whispered “It was you.”

“What?” Jay stopped pacing and turned to Carlos “Me? What did I do”

“You were out all night. Ever since the coronation you’ve been coming home late and I’ve seen them escort you back. Fairy Godmother told us when we got here how strict she was about curfew.” He was speaking in little more than a whisper, he really didn’t want Jay to hear him but knew that he did. “At first I thought you were just out late but them when Evie and Mal came to get us for class I realized you never came back.” Jay was about to say something when Carlos kept on. Now that he started to voice his feelings he wasn’t go to stop for fear that he would lose his nerve. “And don’t tell me you came back and left early because I know you didn’t. I was up all night waiting for you and you never walked through that door. And when Evie and Mal came in the morning to get us for class I thought they sent you back and I …” 

Jay pulled him into his arms and squeezed him tight. Carlos allowed himself to get lost in the hug focusing only on the warmth and strength of Jay’s body. He could hear the older teen was saying something but he couldn’t focus on the words but one sentence managed to reach through the haze he had placed himself in - “I would rather die than go back to the island”. Carlos stiffened at that and wormed him way out of Jay’s embrace. 

“Why would you say something like that” It wasn’t a question so much as an accusation. It took all of his strength not to have another attack. As it was he was shaking so bad that it was hard for him to even stand. He moved back as Jay moved forward to try and hold him again. Suddenly he wasn’t upset anymore, he became angry. He moved into Jay’s personal space and started yelling. He had no idea what he was saying or doing, everything was black. Then he felt pain and everything stopped. 

“Oh my god, Carlos.. I didn’t mean” Carlos didn’t wait to hear what Jay had to say, he pushed by the older boy, flung the door open and ran out the room. Evie, Mal and Ben were all in the hallway and they all called after him as he ran away. He heard Jay calling his name begging him to come back but he didn’t care. All he could think about was getting as far away from everyone as he could. He kept running until he was out of breath and couldn’t run anymore. He was somewhere deep in the woods surrounding the school but he didn’t care. All he cared about was the fact that his world was gone - Jay had hit him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to figure out how to write the end to this and I think it kinda sucks. I'm going to try and stick to Wednesday updates. Feel free to comment, I will do my best to reply.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos is gone and Jay has another flash back.

Jay stumbled back into the room. What had he done? He hit Carlos, the one person in the world he swore to protect and now he was gone. He looked down at his hand and he saw blood. Was it his from when he broke the mirror or? He touched the blood and it was still wet. Oh god how hard did he hit him. Jay barely made it to the bathroom before he started throwing up. He just sat there on the floor looking at the bowl and remembered the last time, although at that time it wasn’t him throwing up. 

He was fourteen and he was going to be starting high school today. He still didn’t understand why they had to go to school. It wasn’t like there was anything he could learn from books or teachers that he couldn’t learn on the street. He was already the best thief on the island and between that and his charm he could get anything he wanted but his father insisted he go. The only good thing about school was that he got to spend more time with Carlos. Although he was only twelve it had been decided that Carlos would be bumped up a couple of grades because he was so smart. 

It was for this reason that he sat on the floor in one of the many bathrooms of Hell Hall watching his best friend trying his hardest to be quite while puking his guts out. They had been up all night, Jay listening to Carlos go on and on about how unfair it was that he was being forced to skip two grades. Being so small Carlos was terrified of being picked on by the older, bigger kids. Plus it meant spending more time in classes (high school was 7 hours instead of the 4 hours of middle school) which meant less time to do his chores. 

“Carlos stop worrying, everything is going to be fine.” Jay rubbed small circles on Carlos’ back circling the scar on the small of his back. “Nobody is going to bother you with me around.”

“You can’t be there all the time Jay.” Carlos was starting to shake and Jay could tell that the young boy was on the verge of another panic attack. Jay gave him a hug and whispered in his ear. Carlos smiled at him and picked himself off the floor. “You going to sit there all day? We’re gonna be late.”

Jay laughed and stood up. He ruffled the boy’s hair. “You’re right let’s get going.”

Jay hated to admit it but the first day of school was going great. He only had one class with Carlos but the younger boy seemed to be in good spirits whenever he saw him in the hallways. Plus he had all the girls eating out of his hands (except for Mal but he was okay with that) and he managed to snag some stuff for his dad’s shop. That meant he wouldn’t have to go out looking for things after school and he could help Carlos get his chores done before Cruella got home. He counted down the minutes until the final bell so he could go looking for him. 

When the bell finally rang he jumped up out of his seat and rushed for the door. He sprinted down the hall heading toward Carlos’ locker when he heard a muffled cry coming from one of the empty classrooms. He didn’t really want to get involved but curiosity got the better of he and he walked toward the closed door. Looking through the glass he saw the Gaston twins towering over some poor kid. He couldn’t make out what they were saying but it was obvious that whoever the kid was the twins didn’t like him. 

“Sucks to be him” Jay thought as he started to turn ready to continue on his way to the lockers when he saw one of the twins hit the kid causing him to fly back into the wall. Out the corner of his eye Jay saw Carlos’ white hair and felt himself get overcome with rage. He kicked the door in and before either one of the twins could react he shot forward tackling the one who had hit Carlos. He didn’t hold anything back as he landed blow after blow. The other twin grabbed his wrist as he was about to punch his brother again and pulled Jay away. Jay managed to dodge out of the way of his fist and landed a knee to his balls causing Gaston #2 to double over in pain. A quick knee to the face had the twin joining his brother on the floor and Jay would have continued beating on them if he hadn’t felt the hand that touched his shoulder. 

Jay was about to attack the new person when he heard Mal’s voice “I think they had enough Jay.” Jay looked from Mal to the twins and he could see the fear in their eyes as they both gripped their nose, blood seeping out between their hands. He went to Carlos and picked him up off the floor before turning back to Gaston #1 and #2.

“If either one of you even looks at him funny I will make you regret ever being born. Are we clear” They both nodded their heads, causing blood to fall on the floor. Satisfied Jay took Carlos and led him toward the door and out the room. As Jay was looking over Carlos to make sure he was okay, both of the twins came running out the room, looked over at them once and ran off in the opposite direction. Mal came walking out the door, the green glow fading from her eyes, smiled at Jay and Carlos and walked away.

Jay looked back at Carlos and the younger boy was giving him a weak smile, his lip swollen from where he had gotten hit. It was strange seeing Carlos’ face like that. With all the abuse that Cruella subjected Carlos too she was very careful not to leave a mark on his face or arms. Jay had asked him why once and Carlos told him that while his mother didn’t really care about hurting Carlos she didn’t want others to see her son as a punching bag so she kept the scars to where people wouldn’t see them. It was the reason why Carlos always wore shorts because he knew it would keep his mother from doing damage to his legs. 

“You okay?” Jay gently placed his thumb against Carlos’ lip wiping away some blood that had collected there. 

“I’m fine, thanks to you” Jay smiled and put his arm around the younger boy. 

“I told you I’ll always protect you - no matter what” Carlos wrapped his arm around the older boy’s waist and they started heading toward their lockers. 

It was the feel of another hand, this time on his shoulder that broke Jay out of his revelry. Evie was standing over him, holding his hair back in case he threw up again. He looked away too ashamed to look his friend in the eye. Slowly he got up, brushing her away and moved over to the sink. He rinsed the blood off of his hand and splashed water on his face. He heard footsteps come from behind and knew that Mal had entered the room and was standing at the bathroom door. 

“Jesus Jay, what the hell happened in here” Mal’s voice was full of concern but Jay didn’t care. He walked past his other two friends and headed toward the door. He had to get out and find Carlos. Beg his friend to forgive him. Before he could leave the room though he was suddenly face to face with Ben. The young king looked at Jay and placed a hand on his chest stopping him from leaving. 

“I know you want to go after him Jay, but Carlos ran off into the woods before I could catch him.” Ben led Jay back into the room and quickly closed the door. “Without knowing where he went you would only wind up getting lost. I sent a couple of the guards after him. They know the forest around here really well and I’m sure they will find him and bring him back in no time.” Jay looked into Ben’s eyes and could see the sincerity of his words. Still Jay felt helpless and needed to do something. Not knowing what to do Jay went and crawled into his bed, pulled the covers over his head and started to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda short and it doesn't really move the story forward but it just felt like the right place to end it. Assuming the muses don't abandon me I plan on having another chapter up sometime this week. Oh and if anybody has any editing tips please feel free to share. I feel like I should do something to separate the flash backs from the present so to try and minimize confusion but I'm not sure what.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all about Evie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doing something a little different. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Evie sat alone at the lunch table. She was drawing some new tourney uniform designs that Ben had asked her to do. She knew that he only asked to try and keep her busy so she wouldn’t worry about Carlos and Jay and she was thankful for the distraction. Nobody had seen or heard from Carlos in two days; it was assumed he was somewhere in the forest around Auradon but no one had any luck finding him. She stopped what she was doing and pulled out the shard of the magic mirror she always kept with her. When they first realized that Carlos wasn’t coming back she asked the mirror to find him and while the mirror did show them Carlos none of them could tell where he was. Still she checked the mirror a few times every day just to make sure that Carlos was still okay which he was. She had no idea what he was doing for food or water but Ben assured her and Mal that the forest had plenty of fruit trees and fresh water springs so it was unlikely that Carlos would go hungry. 

Then of course there was Jay. He had completely shut himself off, refusing to leave his room or even get out of bed. Evie didn’t even think he would have eaten of she or Mal didn’t bring him food and refuse to leave until he finished it. Whenever she went to see him she could tell that he had been crying. She had tried several times to comfort him but Jay refused to let anyone even touch him and if she tried he would freak out and lock himself in the bathroom until she left. Mal wasn’t having much luck either. They had both thought since Mal had known him longer he would be more willing to at least talk to her. Eventually they both stopped trying, they would just sit with him in silence watching him eat. One time she had used the mirror while Jay was eating to see if she could find Carlos. When Jay saw what she was looking at he took it badly. He threw the tray of food he was eating on the floor and then started destroying the room. He would just keep on saying how it was all his fault. Evie tried to calm him down but in the end it took Mal casting a spell to put him to sleep. When he woke up Jay acting like nothing had happened and Evie never mentioned it to him. 

Everything was becoming routine after a few days. Every morning Ben would have men search the forest looking for Carlos while Evie, Mal, Ben and even Doug would look after Jay. She had started taking her sketchbook with her when she spent time with Jay and he would often look over her shoulder at her designs. Jay still wasn’t talking but they had a sort of silent communication thing going where ever could tell if Jay like or hated something by his expressions. He had even helped her choose the final design of the new tourney jersey’s she was going to show Ben. It was a risky design. Instead of a “uniform” design she had crafted custom jersey’s for each player on the team. The front of the Jersey stayed basically the same with the Knights logo and player number on the front but on the back instead of the player name and giant number the back was adorned with the player’s family crest. She had gotten the idea from the jackets the four of them wore and when she showed it to Jay he actually smiled. 

Evie decided that it would be best to show Ben what the final product would look like so she stood up late working on Jersey’s for Jay and Carlos. It wasn’t until she was finished with the Jersey’s that she realized she made them for the only two people who currently weren’t playing on the team and may never play again. She tried not to let that thought bother her as she put on her pajamas and went to sleep.  
It felt like she had just fallen asleep when she heard the banging on the door and she wasn’t happy. Who was up this early on a Saturday anyway? She looked up and saw Mal walking toward the door. Whoever was on the other side was in for a world of hurt and she couldn’t say she felt sorry for them. Mal opened the door and Doug was there with a panicked look on his face but when he took one look at Mal he froze. Doug started fidgeting and was trying to form words without any luck. 

“Spit it out already” Mal was not a morning person and although she was making strides on being food, right now she was definitely looking more like the Mal of old. Evie got up and walked over to the door, which she admits might have been a mistake. Sure she was in her pajamas but they basically consisted of nothing more than a shirt and some tiny shorts. If Doug had been tongue tied because of Mal he was absolutely flustered right now. 

“Doug sweetie, what’s wrong?” She put a hand on his arm and that seemed to settle him down. He looked at Evie then Mal. “It’s Jay, he’s gone.”

Mal rushed past Doug and down the hall toward Jay and Carlos’ room, while Evie found herself being held up by Doug. When she finally felt strong enough to move she started walking toward the boys dorms. She took her time hoping that this was all just some sort of mistake and that when she got there she would find Jay lying in bed. She could sense Doug walking next to her ready to catch her again. As she turned the corner she could see Ben talking to someone (she assumed it was Mal) in the room. He was holding an envelope in his hand and as she got to the door Ben handed it to her. Mal was sitting on Jay’s bed reading a letter of her own and Evie walked over to Carlos’ bed and sat down. She opened the letter and started to read. 

_Evie,_

_I wish I had the courage to say this to you in person but I know if I did you and Mal would try and stop me. By the time you read this I will be long gone and I don’t know when or if I’m ever going to come back. I did something I swore I would never do - I hurt Carlos and now he’s gone. These past few days I have been wracked with guilt over what I did and I have so much that I need to figure out. In order to do that I need to get away from here. I don’t know if I deserve to be in Auradon and I’m hoping that I will be able to find that answer while I’m away. I know I have no right to ask but please look after Carlos for me. I’m sure he’ll come back now that I’ve left and he’s going to need a real friend when he comes back and I know that I can’t be that person for him now. I wish I could say more but right now I just don’t know the right words. Just know that I am sorry for the mess that I made._  
Always - Jay 

_P.S. I hope you don’t mind but I snuck into your room and stole the jersey you made for me last night. Tell Ben he’s an idiot if he doesn’t let you make them for the entire team._

Evie couldn’t believe what she had just read. She looked over at Mal and saw her talking to Ben and Doug. The two boys had also received letters and it looked like they were comparing what was written to each of them. All of this was to much for her right now and she just laid back on the bed trying to hold back the tears she could feel coming. She felt a lump under her head and thought she was laying on top of Dude. Pulling the blankets away she saw a small box with an envelope taped to the top “For Carlos’ eyes only”. She quickly covered the box back up so that the others couldn’t see it. She didn’t know why but she thought that if they knew it was there they would want to open it and she couldn’t let that happened. Instead she got up from the bed and headed toward the door. She looked over at her friends who had stopped talking when she walked past them and said matter of factly “I’m going to find Carlos and then we’re going to go and find Jay” and then she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was thinking that we didn't really get to see what anyone else was going through so I had this brilliant idea that every 5th chapter should be from someone's perspective other than Jay or Carlos. 
> 
> Just a little side note I was originally thinking of having Jay cut his hair off and that was going to be what Ben was holding when Evie got to the room but I just couldn't bring myself to cut off that beautiful hair.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos returns...sorta

Carlos stood at the edge of the forest looking at the dark outline of Auradon Prep. All of the lights were out except for one and Carlos’ eyes were drawn to it like a moth to the fire. It was well after curfew so everyone should be asleep but the light was definitely coming from the boys dorms. He initially thought it was Jay but their room was on the other side of the hall. Whoever it was Carlos was sure they nice and warm, maybe even buried under blankets with full stomachs. His own stomach decided it wanted to growl then although he wasn’t hungry. In truth he probably ate better now then when he was in school. He was in better shape and eating healthier thanks to the animals of the forest who for some reason had taken a liking to him. He laughed to himself about that. His mother, who had made a living killing animals and turning them into her fur coats, would probably have a fit knowing that Carlos was spending all of his time playing with and making friends with all all of these animals. 

Still Carlos missed a lot of the comforts he had gained by coming to Auradon. Things like his bed, hot showers and chocolate; he really missed chocolate. He also wished he had some of his stuff, he had always had things to tinker around with even on the island. He was missing his friends too - Evie, Ben, Doug and even Mal. He had no idea how long he had been gone and he truly didn’t know if he wanted to go back. He knew everyone was worried about him and that they were still searching for him. He spent so much of his time avoiding the search parties that were out looking for him but he just couldn’t bring himself to go back. Going back meant seeing him and seeing him meant remembering why he left in the first place. 

Carlos tasted the salt from the tears he hadn’t even realized he was shedding as they reached his mouth. He reach up to wipe them away when he brushed against his lip. He felt the panic start to rise as the thoughts started flooding his head. He was yelling at Jay angry at the older teen for saying out loud that he would rather be dead then go back to the island. Why didn’t Jay understand what that would do to him. If just the thought of Jay being sent back to the island had caused Carlos to panic what would losing Jay completely do to him. How could Jay be so selfish and then Jay hit him and Carlos just broke. It was his mother all over again, when he was young Cruella had been loving and caring, but once she realized how much Carlos depended on her she changed. Carlos thought it would be different with Jay that he had found somebody that he could love and who would love him back. 

Carlos turned around ready to head back into the forest. He never should have come back here this wasn’t where he belonged anymore. He took once last look back at the school he had once called home and out the corner of his eye he saw something running toward him. It was too small to be a person and Carlos immediately knew who it was. Dude ran across the grass barking like mad and Carlos bent over as the dude flew into his open arms knocking him over. Carlos was immediately assaulted by the dog licking his face. Carlos couldn’t help but laugh as he laid out on the ground, Dude promptly laying down on his chest. “I missed you too boy” Soon everything was forgotten as he stroked Dude’s fur happy to see his friend again. 

Carlos was running around playing with Dude when he noticed the light in the dorms go off. He froze looking toward the building to see if anyone would come outside. When he realized no one was coming he looked down at Dude who was sitting wagging his tail waiting to continue their game. Carlos reach down and scratched the dog behind the ear. He grabbed the stick they had been playing with a tossed it as far as he could into the darkness. As Dude ran off, Carlos looked at his friend and whispered “Sorry little guy but I have to go”. He started to make his way back into the forest when he heard Dude start to bark as the little dog ran toward him. Carlos tried to ignore Dude and kept walking but the dog wouldn’t stop barking even though the dog wouldn’t move any further into the forest. Afraid that the barking would wake people up and Carlos wouldn’t have time to get away he walked back over toward where Dude was waiting but whenever he would get close to the dog Dude would run away toward the school and start barking until Carlos followed him. 

Carlos followed Dude back into the dorms, sneaking through the hallways trying hard not to make a sound. Years of sneaking through Hell Hall while his mother was asleep helped. He was worried about getting caught but it was way too late to turn back now. Plus he was curious as to where Dude was leading him and why. They weren’t heading toward his room in fact they were moving away from the sleeping area completely. Carlos never really came this way except for when him and his friends decided to raid the kitchen. He had no idea what were in the other rooms on this side of the building. Dude ran ahead around a corner and when Carlos made the turn the little dog was gone. It was dark and Carlos thought that maybe he just couldn’t see him but as he continued walking down the hall he still couldn’t find him. 

“Dude, hey boy where’d you go?” His voice was barely more than a whisper as he walked down the hall. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye he saw something come out of a door on his right and he let out a yelp. He quickly covered his mouth with both hands hoping nobody heard him and looked over to see Dude’s head sticking out of a flap in bottom of the door before it disappeared again. Carlos slowly opened the door only wide enough for him to slip inside. The room was pitch black, having no windows, and Carlos felt along the walls looking for a light switch. When he found it and turned it on. He blinked his eyes a few times adjusting to the sudden brightness and when he could see again his heart broke. 

Dude was laying down on some rags looking up at him. Two bowls were off to the side and both were completely empty. Carlos looked around and realized that they were basically in a tiny closet. Dude looked up at him with the saddest eyes. Carlos couldn’t believe it. How could they do this, put poor Dude in a closet like he was animal - which granted he was but still no one deserved to live like this. He could feel his anger rising and he struggled to get it under control. He wanted to wake everybody up, yell and scream, beat them until they were all cowering and whimpering before him. Begging him to forgive them for how they treated his best friend. He was a De Vil and he would show them all why that was a name to be feared. 

Determined in his course of action he reached down to pick up Dude when the small dog shied away from him and suddenly just as quickly as it had come all the anger left. He was not his mother and he promised himself he never would be. “I’m sorry Dude, come here, it’s okay I promise” Dude took a tentative step toward Carlos before sniffing his hand and then jumping into his arms and licking his face. Carlos reached out and picked up the two bowls before leaving the closet. “Come on boy let’s get you something to eat and drink”.

Carlos went to the kitchen and made a beeline toward the fridge. Putting Dude and the two bowls on the floor he opened the door and looked inside. Looking around he found some leftover steaks and oh god was those peanut butter cups. He grabbed both items and placed the steak in Dude’s bowl before popping one of the peanut butter cups in his mouth. It tasted like heaven and by the time he got water for Dude he had eaten three more. The little dog was going to town on the steak and Carlos sat down on the floor next to him eating as well. For the first time in months he smiled and felt content although he knew that this wasn’t going to last. He was going to have to leave soon if he wanted to make it back into the forest before anyone could find him. 

He looked over at Dude who was still enjoying his steak and knew he couldn’t leave him here, not after he saw the way they treated him. He thought about going to his room and picking up some stuff but didn't want to run the risk of seeing Jay. Instead he made his way around the kitchen and started to gather supplies. Now that he was going to be bringing Dude with him he had to make sure he could take care of the dog and while he was more than okay living off of the fruits and nuts the forest had to provide, he was sure Dude would need something a little more substantial. He grabbed a bunch of cans of dog food out of the pantry and went back to the fridge and filled the rest of the bag with various chocolate.

“Well boy what do you say we get out of here” Carlos bent over to grab Dude and just then the little dog started barking “Dude you gotta be quiet you’re gonna wake…” Carlos stopped mid sentence as something hit him on the head and he fell to the floor and lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever to write and I'm still not sure I like it. I did however come up with an outline for the next few chapters so hopefully they won't take as long as this one.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where has Jay been going at night? Find out here.

Jay did his best to avoid the people, sticking to the shadows. He hated moving around the city during the day but he had no choice, somethings you just couldn’t get at night. He raised his scarf to cover his face as he walked into the store. The people of Auradon Prep might be more willing to accept him now since the coronation but he knew that everyone wasn’t as accepting. He also didn’t want to run the risk of someone noticing him and telling the school where he was. He had been gone a little of two months now and he had no plans to go back. 

Jay picked up the items he needed and paid for them and just as quickly as he enter he was out of the store and back into the streets. He made his way back to the place he was calling home in record time. He had been up all night and he had a long night ahead of him so he was looking forward to getting some sleep. He prayed that this time the exhaustion would take him and stop him from dreaming. Dreams of Carlos, of that day. He kept telling himself that everything he was doing now was his atonement not only to Carlos but to everyone but he knew that was a lie because there was nothing he could do that would make up for him hitting the one person in the world that he cared about. 

Up in his room he collapsed on his bed and closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep. He found himself dreaming of the past. He was back at Auradon not long after him and his friends had decided to become good. It was strange the feeling of wanted to do what was right, to help others and not just think about himself. Sure he helped the team and his friends but he was left feeling like it wasn’t enough, he wanted to do more. He found himself sitting in the library when he wasn’t in class or practicing reading books on his father and all the evil acts he committed. Jay started to feel like he owed it to himself and the people that were wronged to make up for his father’s past. 

Finally one day after tourney practice he saw Ben and Aziz, the son of Alladin and Jasmine, talking. Ben was trying to get Aziz to convince his father to have Agrabah join the Kingdom of Auradon so that they could help more with the rebuilding of the desert kingdom. Jay was shocked to overhear how even after 20 years Agrabah was still not completely over the destruction caused by his father and the other villains. It was then that Jay decided what to do, the only problem was since Agrabah was not a part of Auradon there was no easy way to get there. Aziz travelled between the two kingdoms on his magic carpet and that was a three day trip there was no way Jay was going to be able to get there and back with any kind of regularity. 

It wasn’t until a few days later that he figured out the solution - Magic. The kingdoms of Auradon were united through a series of portals so all Jay had to do was figure out how to make a portal to Agrabah. He thought about asking Mal for help but quickly rejected that idea because he knew that she would tell Ben what he was planning. Ever since the two of them got serious Mal told him everything afraid that keeping secrets would destroy their relationship. Evie was another option - sure she didn’t really use magic but the Evil Queen had been a sorceress she should be able to use magic also. Then it hit him, his father had been a sorcerer and at one point even a Genie. Surely Jay had some magical ability so one day while they were all hanging out Jay casually started flipping through Mal’s spellbook looking for a way to open a portal. No one even questioned what he was doing since none of them thought he could use it. Once he found the spell he needed he committed it to memory and put the book down. 

That night he snuck out of his dorm room after Carlos had fallen asleep careful not to wake the younger boy. He knew that Carlos wouldn’t tell anyone that he was out after curfew but he would bombard Jay with questions and he wouldn’t stop until Jay told him everything. Then Carlos would insist on helping him and this was something Jay had to do on his own. He made his way out of the building and across the tourney field. He wanted to get as far away from the school as he could in case something went wrong. As he reached the edge of the tourney field where it met the forest he stopped and steeled himself for what he was about to do. He pictured Agrabah in his mind based on the stories he read and the pictures he’d seen and placed his hand on one of the tree’s in front of him while reciting the spell. Suddenly where there was once a solid oak tree he could see the windswept desert sands, he did it, he created a portal and so he stepped through and just like that he was in Agrabah. 

All the stories his father told him, the books he read and the picture none of them prepared him for the sight before him. From where he stood he could see the entire city and it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. He could easily get lost just wandering around the maze of buildings. The bazaar, although closed, reminded him of the one back on the isle of the lost with the stores all packed together. If he wasn’t trying to be good he could make a killing stealing in a place like this. Still not everything was perfect. He could see the places where they were still rebuilding from the all the destruction his father caused as whole sections of the city were still abandoned. Twenty years had gone by and the people were obviously still recovering. Jay started to have doubts in his plan - what could one person do? He still had to try though; to make amends.

Lost in his thoughts Jay didn’t realize where in Agrabah his portal had opened until it was too late. By the time he got around to paying attention to his immediate surroundings the guards were already there and he had nowhere to run. The guards were on him in an instant and they quickly restrained him. He tried to struggle but knew he had no hope. 

“Release him” The voice came from the shadows. Jay could see the hesitation in the guards faces unsure if they should. “I have dealt with his father do you really think this boy could be a threat to me.” 

Jay watched as the figure stepped into the light and the guards quickly let him go and knelt down around him. It would have been easy for him to run away if not for the fact that he was frozen by the sight before him; Jasmine Queen of Agrabah. She was more beautiful than he could have even imagined. He suddenly understood why his father had been obsessed with her. He watched as she turned around and started to walk away.

“Come boy, my husband and I would speak with you in private” Looking at the guards who were once again standing he rushed forward and followed the Queen into the palace. When he caught up to her he quickly fell into step with her and remained silent unsure of what to say or how it would come out. He would steal glances in Jasmine’s direction trying to gauge her mood but she just continued to walk straight as if she wasn’t beside the son of her greatest enemy. If anyone had asked Jay wouldn’t admit it but he was scared. His mind was running through a million scenarios - being thrown in the dungeons, trying to escape, even being killed. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even realized it when she started to speak. 

“Do you always ignore someone when they are talking to you” Jay shook his head and tried to form words. He wanted to say something cool and suave, to try and charm his way out of this situation but the only thing that came out was a barely audible “I’m sorry”. She no longer tried to talk to him and he followed along silently not trusting himself enough to speak. They stopped in front of a set of large doors which the Queen opened with ease and led him through. 

Jay stopped as they entered the throne room amazed at the sight of the grand hall. The room was lined with columns made of pure white stone encircled by bands of gold. The carpet down the center was woven of the finest silk, soft and smooth to the touch. Tapestries lined the walls telling the stories of the Sultans of Agrabah. Each one rippled in the cool breeze that come through the open windows. It was nothing short of spectacular and Jay became lost in everything around him, forgetting where he was and why he was here. That is until a voice brought him back to reality.

“Jay, Son of Jafar sworn enemy of all of Agrabah, tell me why I shouldn’t have you tossed in the dungeons and the key to your cell hidden deep within the Cave of Wonders never to be found?” Jay turned toward the sound of the voice coming from the front of the hall. There upon the throne sat Aladdin, Sultan of Agrabah and all Jay could do was laugh. The way his father spoke about his greatest enemy Jay was expecting a great warrior, a titan among men, but instead what he saw was someone not unlike himself. A street rat who did what he could to survive who had by some strange twist of fate became the most powerful man in all the land. Where Jasmine had been beautiful and regal, Aladdin looked like a fish out of water who no one in there right mind could ever take seriously. 

“Do my husband’s words really amuse you that much boy. Maybe actions would be more to your liking” With a snap of her figures guards filled the room and Jay quickly realized just how serious the situation had become. Coming to his senses, he moved before the royal couple and knelt down.

“Please forgive my manners your majesty, I assure you I mean no disrespect” Jay looked at the Queen and gave her one of his most dazzling smiles. “I simply laugh because while my father’s description of your beauty was extremely accurate, I fear he may have … exaggerated a little in his description of the Sultan” Neither Aladdin or Jasmine were smiling which caused the smile on Jay’s face to quickly disappear. He quickly decided that he wasn’t going to be able to charm his way out of this and decided his best bet was to be honest. 

Without waiting he quickly told them both of his idea to help rebuild what is father destroyed. He told them how he and his friends were trying to be good (which of course they already knew having been at Ben’s coronation) and how he did not feel like he was doing enough just by declaring it. He wanted to prove it not only to himself but to everyone that he was more than just the thief his father had made him into. Aladdin and Jasmine sat listening to him talk and when he finished they shared a quick look and smiled.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Jay woke up from his dream aware that someone was now in the room with him. He slowly sat up and looked at the Queen sitting in the corner of the room. He knew it was only a matter of time that one of them would visit him now that he was staying here. She simply sat there looking at him and he knew she was waiting for him to talk. 

“I know that this isn’t what we agreed to, but please let me explained.” She didn’t say anything as she simply got up moving to where he sat in bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and pulled him into her arms holding him as he started to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this makes some sort of sense. I plan on developing the Jay and Jasmine relationship a lot more in his next chapter which I should hopefully have up next week. I have about 1/2 of the next Carlos chapter written already so hopefully I'll have it up sometime this week. 
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoy this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one about Carlos' hair

Carlos woke up with the sun glaring in his eyes and an immense headache. He grabbed the covers and pulled them over his head and engulfed himself in darkness. The pounding in his head didn’t lessen any which ruled out a hangover. He tried to remember what he could have done that would cause him to wake up in so much pain but everything was kinda fuzzy. He remembered being in the kitchen with Dude getting food to take with them before heading back to the forest and nothing else. It hurt so much just to think that all he wanted to do was lay here in his comfy bed, bury his head in his pillow and fall back to sleep. He started to drift off again when things suddenly clicked in his brain. 

Carlos shot up and immediately regretted it as his head exploded in a fresh batch of pain. Fighting the urge to lay back down he took in his surroundings. He was in his bed, in his room at Auradon prep, and he wasn’t alone. Evie, Mal, Ben, Doug and Jane were sitting around the table in the center of the room talking. He looked around the room searching for Jay but he didn’t see him anywhere. He wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or disappointed. He was trying to sort out his feelings when Evie looked his way, saw he was awake and told the others. 

“Welcome back to the world of the living” Mal’s voice dripped with sarcasm as the five of them got up and walked over toward his bed. He looked at each of them and wished he was somewhere else. Mal looked really pissed, evil daughter of Maleficent pissed, while Evie and Ben both looked worried, Doug looked confused and Jane looked like she had been crying. Calros really didn’t want to deal with any of the questions he knew they were going to ask so he retreated back under the covers as he mumbled “Go away”.

“Oh no you don’t” The covers were ripped away from the bed and Carlos felt someone lift him up into a sitting position except no one was near him. He looked at the group and saw Mal staring at him, her eyes glowing bright green just like her mother’s used to. Carlos tried to get away but whatever had lifted him up was now holding him place so that he could barely move. He started to whimper, memories of his mother holding him down while she beat him running through his mind. Suddenly just as quickly as it had come the force holding him was gone as Ben got between him and Mal breaking her line of sight. 

“That’s enough Mal, you need to calm down” Ben loomed over his girlfriend but Carlos knew better than to think she would back down. 

“No Ben, I will not calm down” The bed began to shake as Mal’s anger peaked “Three months he was gone. Three months without a single word if he was okay. Three months of listening to Evie cry herself to sleep every night when she would come home without finding him” Carlos had wondered how long he had been gone - he thought it had only been a couple of weeks, a month at the most but never would have guessed three. “Hell if Jane hadn’t knocked him out with a frying pan thinking it was a thief we still wouldn’t know anything.” Mal had started crying and Carlos watched as Ben engulfed her small frame with his larger one. Carlos started to realize how much his running away had hurt his friend but knowing that made the fact that Jay wasn’t here stand out even more. 

Carlos got up from his bed and walked over to Mal and Evie and took them both in this arms. “I’m sorry” his voice was barely a whisper “I never meant to hurt you.” He looked up from between his friends at Ben, Doug and Jane “any of you. I didn’t realize how long I was gone. I just needed to get away, to have some space to think. What happened between me and Jay, I was just scared…” He stopped looking at the blank expressions on their faces. Was it possible they didn’t know? “It doesn’t matter.” Carlos let go of his friends and sat on the bed looking down at the ground. He felt a small hand touch his chin and lift his face up bringing his eyes level with Evie’s.

“Carlos we’re your friends, why would you be scared of us?” Carlos pulled away from her touch. She was sincere with her words and Carlos knew she meant it but all he could hear in his mind as she said them was his mother’s kind words before she would beat him for some imagined slight or hear Jay tell him how he would always protect him before hitting him. Carlos moved back on the bed until his back touched the headboard. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. He rocked back and forth slowly as he began to talk. “All my life I lived in a cage” sometimes literally he thought “my mother would tell me how much she loved me and needed me and them with the very next breath she would berate me and tell me how much of a worthless mongrel I was, how she couldn’t understand out of all the villains she could give birth to the runt of the litter.” Both Evie and Mall were looking at him with understanding eyes, their own mothers would often talk to them like they were worthless also, but the Auradonian kids were staring at him as if he just told them their dog had died. Carlos knew they weren’t ready to hear about the beatings and other things his mother did to torture him. He looked back at Evie and Mal and they were both shaking there heads confirming his thoughts. The two of them only knew part of how badly his mother treated him and they were still letting him know he should stop. He doubted he could have gone on anyway, not with Jay here. Hay who knew everything, his sworn protector, his newest abuser. 

“anyway, I guess I just got lost in the freedom. The living without responsibility, without have to worry about what anyone else thought. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” Carlos looked at them and knew they had questions - he also knew he probably wouldn’t want to answer them but he also knew he had to give them something. “Go ahead and ask” They all came at his at once - How did he survive for so long on his own? WHy did he leave? Where exactly did he go? How could he think they would be like his mom? He tried to think of what to tell them when Doug looked at him and asked the one question he never had asked of him before. 

“How is your hair still white?” All of his friends groaned at the question but Carlos just stared at Doug knowing he had more to say. “What, it’s not a stupid question. He’s be gone for three months, his hair is at least 2 or 3 inches longer yet he still only has black roots. If he’s been living in the woods all this time that shouldn’t be possible. So he’s either been coming back here regularly or he found someplace else to stay” At that point everybody was just staring at Doug, but they quickly turned their attention to Carlos waiting for an answer. Carlos ran his fingers through his hair. It was much longer now although he never really noticed. He let out a soft sigh before he started explaining. 

“My mom called it her curse. I was born with jet black hair which kept getting lighter and lighter as I got older until around my fourth birthday. My mother was at the spa..” He looked over at Evie and Mal wondering if he should explain what exactly the “spa” was to the others but they just shook their head and so he just continued with the story. “She had Horace and Japser watching after me, and when I woke up my hair was white with black roots like it is now. Both of them started freaking out thinking that I got into my mother’s hair products. They took me into the bathroom and tried everything they could to fix what had happened but nothing worked. When my mom got home and saw me things didn’t go well. She dragged me through the house and into her bedroom screaming the whole time about those stupid dogs and wasn’t it bad enough that I was covered in spots. She took out a pair of scissors and just started chopping at my hair until it was black again. She locked me in the closet for 3 days after that - when she finally let me out the tips of my hair were white again. So to answer your question no I haven’t been back or staying anywhere else.” 

Carlos wiped away the tears that had started falling and let himself be hugged by Evie wishing it was Jay who was holding him right now. He wondered where he was again, afraid that Jay didn’t want to see him, afraid that Jay didn’t care about him anymore. 

“Anyway guys, I’m sorry I made you all worry but I’m fine now and I promise I won’t run away again.” He hoped that would be enough for them, that they would just leave him alone for a while now. His head was still hurting and all he really wanted to do was go back to sleep. He looked at Evie who understood and she let him go. She got up and motioned for the others to go with her outside the room. One by one they left and he promised he would tell them everything that happened later. Evie was the last one to make her way out but before she left Carlos called her name.

“Evie...where’s Jay?” The look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. Jay was gone. Not saying anything Evie went over to the desk and picked up a small box that had Carlos’ name written in Jay’s handwriting on it. She gave it to Carlos and left the room. Carlos opened the box with trembling hands and inside was Jay’s favorite red beanie and an envelope that was addressed “To Carlos - Forgive me - Love Jay”. Carlos couldn’t bring himself to open the letter instead placing it on his nightstand and pulling the beanie over his head as he buried his head in his pillow and softly cried himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I have no idea how fast hair grows I just wanted Carlos' hair to be longer so that Doug could ask the question. 
> 
> As always I hope you guys like it and feel free to leave comments. I hope to have the next chapter up by Sunday.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay figures something out

Jay woke up around noon after only a few hours of sleep and started getting lunch ready. Even with all of the windows open it was obscenely hot in the kitchen. He used to wonder why his dad was always complaining about it being so cold on the island but now he got it, if he had grown up in the desert he would anywhere else to be cold too. Thankfully he still did all his work at night when the air was much cooler. He often heard the people complain about the cold nights but he loved them. Of course it helped that he was working up a sweat all night. Rebuilding an entire neighborhood was demanding work but he would never complain. He remembered the shocked look on Aladdin and Jasmine’s faces when he refused their offer to have men help him with the work. It was Jafar alone who had caused the damage and Jay was determined to fix it on his own. He did however accept their offer of the material he needed and the money they gave him (most of which he gave to the local orphanages minus what he used for food). 

He had just finished setting the table when his daily lunch guest walked in. Queen Jasmine took her customary seat at the end of the table while he poured the drinks and then set the pitcher down between them. They ate in silence as usual only speaking when one of them needed the other to pass them something. Jay enjoyed the company and the silence. He had grown close to the Queen these past few weeks ever since her first visit when he broke down crying. He hold told her everything that day - about his past on the island, his hopes and dreams for the future, how he ruined everything back in Auradon and his need to try and make things right. When his was done the day had turned to night and the Queen would have to leave before they started looking for her. She promised to return the next day so they could talk some more and true to her work she did. In fact she had come back every day although she never stayed as late as that first day. 

“So I have news from Auradon if you’re interested?” The Queen looked at him and Jay started clearing away the dishes. He knew she was waiting for him to answer. He had made it clear during their talks that he wanted nothing to do with Auradon anymore, his life was here in Agrabah now. Still there was a part of him that wanted to know what Jasmine was going to tell him. It had to be something big in order for her to bring it up. Jay quietly sighed as he nodded his head not trusting his voice at the moment. 

“So Aziz tells me that the boy with the black and white hair, what was his name again, ah yes Carlos, has returned to school although no one will say where he has been for the past three months.” Jay looked up to see Jasmine staring at him. He quickly wiped away the tears that started to fall and gave her a fake smile. “I’m sorry, I thought this news would have pleased you but it seems that all I have done is upset you. Perhaps I should not have said anything” 

“No. I’m glad you told me it’s just that…” Jay struggled to find the words to express what he was feeling. He was happy that Carlos was back at Auradon and safe. He was sad that he wasn’t there with him. Mostly he just felt numb. “Part of me wants to rush back to Auradon and be with him and beg him to forgive me, while the other part of me wants to stay as far away from him so that I can’t hurt him again. I wish I knew what to do.” Jay closed his eyes willing the tears who knew were forming not to fall. 

He heard Jasmine get up and walk over toward him. She knelt down beside him and took his chin in her hand turning him to face her. “You do not have to do anything right away. You told me that you wanted to help the people of Agrabah, to atone for your father’s sins. Focus your energy on that for now. From all that I have witnessed you are a good person Jay, one who made a terrible decision that he regrets. At some point in our lives we all hurt someone we care about - be it with our words or our actions. You must take what you did and learn from it, choose to grow from the experience and resolve to become a better person. “

Jay looked at Jasmine, the warmth and concern that radiated from her eyes, the gentleness in her touch and gave voice to the thing that has plagued him since that fateful morning all those months ago. “What do I do if he doesn’t forgive me?” 

“I do not have an answer to that question. All I can say is this and I want you to think deeply on these words. You have told me that you care for this boy and that you want to protect him correct” Jay nodded his head unsure of where the Queen was going with this. “If that is truly the case then you must ask yourself why you feel this way. Is what the two of you have merely friendship, if this is the case then you must be prepared to have that friendship end because that is the nature of friendship - it evolves as we grow and people come and go into our lives as we need them. Or is Carlos a brother, as you believe him to be, in which case I will say that brothers fight and brothers forgive for that is the nature of family.” 

Jasmine stood up and moved to toward the door preparing to leave. She had given Jay a lot to think about and once again shown him a kindness he did not feel he deserved. Before she left however she turned around and made one final comment. “Of course if this is what I truly believe it to be then you have no need to worry at all because the bonding of two souls is something that can never be broken, you both just need to stop lying to yourselves and see the truth. As always thank you for lunch, I will see you again tomorrow dear one.” 

Jay watched as she walked out the the door. He wanted to yell at her, to stop her from leaving. He wanted her to explain what she meant, but he knew she wouldn’t tell him. He had gotten used to her telling him things and then letting him figure it out on his own and then asking him about it later. Sometimes he got it right, mostly he was wrong, but he was learning and becoming a better person because of it. 

The next couple of weeks went by without much drama. He would spend his nights working and his days sleeping and his afternoons talking with the Queen. they would talk about the progress he was making and what he needed to finish his work. He was actually surprised by how much he had managed to accomplish. Most of the minor damage was completely fixed and if he had to guess he would say that he was 90% done with everything. The biggest obstacle he faced now was trying to figure out how to rehab the buildings that had suffered the greatest structural damage. Jasmine offered him advice and once again offer to have people help him but he still refused the help. She would often tell him he was being stubborn and Jay knew that was true but he had to try. 

Jay was just starting to think that Jasmine had forgotten about their earlier conversation when one day just as they were sitting down for lunch she looked at him and asked if he had given any thought to what she had told him. He started to say no when he caught the look in her eye and knew it was useless lying. Of course the thought about it. It was all he could think about which is why he went out of his way to keep extra busy. The problem was he hadn’t come up with an answer yet, at least not one he was satisfied with. He had picked apart each of the scenarios that she had presented to him and how they applied to him and Carlos. 

Carlos was his friend of that he had no doubt. In fact he would go so far as to say that he was his best friend. The two of them had done so much together that it seemed to him like they had known each other forever although it had only been four years. Carlos was also his little brother, at least that what he had been told by Mal when he first introduced the two. In fact most of the kids at school back on the Island had seen their relationship that way. Everyone knew that if you messed with Carlos you would have to deal with Jay. Of course Jay was the one who tortured Carlos the most always fighting with him and making fun of him but from seeing the other siblings on the Island that was normal and the two of them knew that it was all done in jest. 

The problem came when he thought of about all the things that happened when they were alone. The nights when Jay would hold Carlos in his arms and comfort him after a stressful day at school or after one of Cruella’s many beatings. Sure he could say that he was just be a good friend or a good brother by being there for Carlos when he needed him, but he knew that wasn’t entirely true. He knew that the sight of Carlos hurt or crying or in any type of distress broke his heart. That holding Carlos was as much for him as it was for the younger boy. He knew that he was happiest whenever he was with Carlos and that when they were together he had to concentrate extra hard so that he wouldn’t forget the other people in the room. 

He looked over at Jasmine and saw the small smile that spread across her face. He hated her for making him confront his feeling like this but he wasn’t going to let her know that. He just sat there eating his food while saying nothing. She let him finish eating before asking her question again. This time he looked at her and simply said “I’m in love with Carlos De Vil”. He finally said out loud what he always knew and now there was no taking it back. 

Jasmine popped out her chair and headed to the door. “Well then why are you here and not with him?” 

“Because I can’t be with him until this is done, until I feel that I am worthy of that love” Jay got up and started clearing the dishes. He turned and leaned against the sink as Jasmine left her last words echoing behind her “Well then you better hurry and finish then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason writing Jay is so much harder than writing Carlos. I hope you guys enjoy this. Next chapter should be up by the end of the week and will feature a unique perspective.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Someone dies in this chapter - you have been warned

Dude watched as Carlos ran out of the room. He could smell the fear coming off of him. It was the same as the first time they met except it was mixed with something else he couldn’t quite place. He was about to give chase when the other boy who lived with them, Dude had never bothered to learn his name, came running out of the room. The was when he recognized what the second scent was - blood. Dude’s mind went into overload then, instinct told him to attack the one who hurt his friend but his rational side told him to go after Carlos. He ran as fast as he could desperate to catch up with Carlos, dodging past all the other kids who kept getting in his way. By the time he made it outside he had lost the scent. He began sniffing around trying to pick up any trace of Carlos. It was times like these he wished he could talk like some of his cousins. WHen he finally picked up the scent again it was very faint and Dude had trouble following it it which slowed him down. He lost the scent completely when he got to the edge of the forest. 

Dude sat at the edge of the forest the entire day watching as people walked in and out looking for Carlos. Ben had come and sat with him for a little while, scratching his behind the ear and trying to distract him but he wasn’t in the mood for playing. He wanted to go into the forest and try and see if he could pick up Carlos’ scent but he couldn’t. The forest was forbidden to him, only magical creatures were allowed to roam the forest. It was an ancient law and it was stupid but Dude would only go so far when it came to breaking it. Not to mention with all the humans walking around in there he wasn’t sure if he would be able to tell them apart. When the day began to turn to night, Dude really started to worry. He knew he had to do something to try and find Carlos and make sure he was safe and so he began to bark. The twilight bark hadn’t been used for an emergency since Cruella stole the dalmatian puppies all those years ago and now Dude was hoping that he could use it to help her son. Dude wasn’t sure if if anyone would want to help but he had to try. 

It had been a week since Carlos had run away and every night Dude would go out and bark hoping it hear from someone who had spotted Carlos. No one had responded to his call yet and he was beginning to lose hope but he wouldn’t stop. He knew that if he was missing Carlos would never quit until he was found. So once again he was out by the forest barking and howling asking if anyone had seen Carlos. He was about ready to call it a night when from deep within the forest he heard howling. At first he didn’t think anything of it, the moon was close to full and those stupid wolves were always howling at it. It wasn’t until the howling stopped and the barking started that he took notice. He didn’t understand it at first, something about it was off, like whoever was barking wasn’t used to it. He listened closely trying desperately to make out what was being said when he realized why the barking sounded so strange, it wasn’t a dog barking it was a wolf. Dude fought back the fear that was threatening to overtake him, instead focusing on the message. It was difficult to understand, wolves hated barking thinking it was a guttural form of communication, but after a while Dude figured out what was being said. Carlos was with the wolves now and he was safe. Dude asked them to lead him home but they said no, that he wasn’t ready yet but that they would watch him and he would remain safe under their protection. 

Dude wasn’t sure how much time had passed between the message from the wolves and Carlos came back. He was getting ready to go out to his usual spot near the forest where he waited hoping to hear something new from the wolves or anyone when he saw the figure standing among the trees. Dude ran outside no doubt in his mind that it was Carlos. Dude started barking when he saw Carlos turn around, there was no way he was going to let him leave. He leapt into Carlos arms knocking him to the ground and started licking his face. Dude could taste the salt from the tears Carlos had just wiped away but then he heard Carlos start to laugh “I miss you too boy” The sound of Carlos’ voice was the greatest thing Dude had heard in a long time. The two of them started playing and all was right in the world. When Carlos threw the stick, Dude went chasing after it but something told him to stop and turn around. He watched as Carlos was walking back into the forest and quickly started barking as he ran back. He stopped just short of the forest and kept barking determined to get Carlos to come back or if that didn’t work to wake the whole school up so that someone could bring him back. His plan worked better than he thought when he got Carlos to follow him back into the school, the fairy girl knocking him out so he could leave was just a bonus. 

Carlos had been back for a week and Dude spent every single minute with him, going with him to class during the day and sleeping with him at night. He was determined not to lose him again plus he knew he didn’t have much time left. He had known he was sick for some time now, he could smell it growing inside him, but now he was starting to feel the pain. It was too far along for anyone to do anything about it, plus Dude knew that anything that was done would only give him a few more weeks at best. He figured if he had to go he might as well go on his own terms. He was worried though, how would Carlos react and who would take care of him. Originally he wasn't worried because the long haired boy was around but now, he needed to make sure Carlos had someone to take care of him. So with that in mind he went outside and once again used the twilight bark this time to get a message out to a friend. He just hoped it would reach him in time.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlos went running to his room after class finally finished. Dude had suddenly got up and left in the middle and the teacher wouldn’t let Carlos leave to go after him. He was worried about the little dog. The past few day he had seemed a little off and Carlos wanted to make sure everything was okay. When he opened his door he was surprised to find someone else inside. Ben had been telling him that they were going to assign another kid to be his roommate but Carlos thought he had convinced them not to. Carlos walked over to where the kid was sitting on the floor. He had Dude in his lap and there were two other dogs, dalmatians, laying down near him as well. The boy looked up at him and Carlos noticed the sad look on his face. “You must be Carlos” The kid extended his hand and Carlos gave it a quick shake. “My name is Jacob Radcliffe”

Radcliffe - Carlos knew that name, it was the last name of his mother’s friend who owner the dalmatians. Carlos looked from the boy to the dogs and took a step back. He didn’t want any trouble but growing up on the island he knew he had to be prepared for anything. 

“I know me being here must be shocking but these guys” He pointed to the two dalmatians at his feet “insisted that we come here and I’m glad I did.” Carlos kept looking looking back and forth from Jacob and the dogs until he eye caught Dude moving in Jacob’s arms. WIthout thinking he reached out and took the small dog in his arms. Something was definitely not right. Dude felt lighter and he sounded like he was having trouble breathing. Jacob stood up and gave Dude a quick scratch behind the ears. “He doesn’t have much long, it’s a testament to how much he loves you that he lasted this long” Carlos looked at Jacob like he was speaking a foreign language when he felt Dude lick his face and suddenly understood. 

“No” Carlos went to his bed and sat down in the middle placing Dude on his lap “No, no you can’t go, I can’t lose you too.” Carlos was crying now and he ran his fingers through Dude’s fur. Dude’s breathing was getting shallower and he was having trouble keeping his head up. “You can help him right? That’s why you’re here” Carlos looked at Jacob his eye pleading for the kid to save his best friend. “I’m sorry Carlos their isn’t anything I can do he’s too far gone” Carlos turned away as he felt Dude lay his head in his lap. “Then why are you here?” 

Jacob sat down on Jay’s bed and placed a hand on each of the Dalmatians heads. “I’m here because they asked me to come” Carlos looked at the two dogs and their owner and thought the boy must be crazy. “This is Lucky and this is Freckles they were two of the puppies that your mother tried to turn into coats” Carlos suddenly became defensive “I’m not like my mother” Jacob smiled while looking at Carlos holding Dude “I can see that. Dude loves you very much; that’s why he asked Lucky and Freckles to come he wanted them to meet you so that they could see how unlike your mother you are and so that they could know that they could trust you” 

“Trust me with what?” Carlos looked over to see Jacob holding a tiny dalmatian puppy in the palm of his hand. Jacob placed the small dog on Carlos’ bed and they watched as the puppy slowly walked over to Carlos and Dude on shaky legs. “This is one of Freckles’ daughters. We haven’t given him a name yet - it’s tradition that we wait until there spots come in before we name them.” The puppy had climbed onto Carlos nap and curled up next to Dude he gave him a quick lick. “Dude wanted to make sure you weren’t alone and so he asked us to help. Don’t ask me how I know, growing up with 101 dogs you just kinda pick up some things.” Jacob waved away the question before Carlos could ask it “So we came down. I know how hard it is to lose a friend...” Carlos had stopped listening to Jacob's’ words at that point as he felt Dude stop breathing. He sat there with his friend crying when he felt the bed shift and the two dalmatians place their heads in his lap. He looked down at his old friend that was curled up in his lap and let the loss wash over him but somewhere among all the pain there was a small ray of hope and as his gaze shift to the small puppy and saw a small black spot among the white fur and he thought Hope would be a great name for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't exactly come out as I planned. As someone who has lost a dog recently I just found it really difficult to write. I was originally planning on putting the end part with Carlos and Jacob in the next chapter but it made more sense to put it here. As always thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos finally reads the letter and jumps to all the wrong conclusions.

Carlos laid down in his bed, Hope curled up in a ball on his chest staring at him. He reached out and scratched behind her ear until she fell asleep. It had been three weeks since he lost Dude and if it wasn’t for her Carlos wasn’t sure what his mental state would be right now. He missed Dude so much and he always would but the fact that it was Dude who brought him and Hope together made the pain of him gone lessen. She even made all the other crap going on in his life suck just a little bit less - from his friends constantly being around “just to hang” even though he knew they just wanted to make sure he didn’t leave again. Tourney practice was even worse, coach was pissed that he had been gone for three months (like he ever really played) so he forced him to run extra drills, plus he was sure that the rest of the team, hell the whole school blamed him for Jay being gone. He wasn’t even sure why he stayed on the team but then he looked over at the other side of the room and looked at Jay’s empty bed and he had his answer. 

He wondered how everything had gone so wrong so fast. No one knew where Jay had went or why, all they would say is that he just disappeared one night. He left letters for Evie, Mal, Ben and himself but he didn’t say anything to them about where he was going and Carlos still hadn’t read his yet. At first he was afraid of what it might say and then he got lost in everything with Dude and getting to know Hope. Even thinking about it now he wasn’t sure if he wanted to read it but looking at Hope and thinking about the time he lost with Dude he knew he had to. If Jay left some sort of clue as to where he was Carlos had to find out. Lifting Hope off his chest, he put her down on the bed and walked over to his desk, opened the draw and pulled out the letter and the beanie. His hands were shaking as he carefully opened the envelope, taking out the letter. He first thought was how bad Jay’s handwriting was, his second was to fold the letter back up and put it away. Instead he walked back to the bed, sat down and started reading. 

_Carlos, ___

_I’m writing this secretly hoping that you will never have to read it because if you do it mean you’re back and I’m gone. Of course it could mean that you’ve never come back which would actually be worse. I guess what I’m really trying to say is that I hope that I can tell you what’s in this letter in person, but the way things are looking now I don’t know if that will happen. I should probably start out by saying that I’m sorry, even though those words seem so hollow. I can’t even bring myself to ask for your forgiveness because I don’t deserve it. From the moment I hit you I’ve been trying to come up with a reason why I did it. I tried rationalizing it, that I hit you in the hopes of calming you down like in all those movies we’ve been watching, or how it was just a reaction, some sort of instinct. The truth is I did it because as much as I say I’m not, I am still a bad person - the son of Jafar. I’ve tried to change and I know everybody thinks that I have but truthfully there is something that is holding me back. I’ve been having these nightmares that no matter what I do I become my dad and it scares me so much. I feel like there are these chains that are tying me to him and I need to figure out how to break free. That’s what I was looking for all those nights I was gone. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but you have to understand that this is my burden and I can’t bring myself to put it on anyone else. The crazy thing is that the night before all of this happened I think I found what I was looking for. But then I hit you and you left and everything stopped. I don’t think I have the words to describe what you leaving did. It was like all parts of my brain stopped working except for the part of me making up excuses. Everyone tried to help, but none of it mattered. All that mattered is that you were gone and it was my fault and I hated you for it. I hated you for making me feel this way and I hated you for not letting me make things right, but mostly I hated you for leaving me and I realized that this is how it all starts. Letting the anger and the hate take over would most certainly turn me into my father so I’ve decided I’m going to do something about it by going through with my original plan. The thing is in order to do that I have to leave, to go back to where everything started to try and make things right. I don’t know if or when I’ll be back again, what I do know is that I won’t come back until it feels right within myself. Maybe then I will be the friend you thought I was, the friend you deserve. Goodbye Carlos. ___

Carlos carefully folded up the letter and put it back in the envelope. He then proceeded to tear the envelope and the letter within into tiny pieces which he threw away. He never should have opened the damn thing let alone read it. What was he thinking? Jay left because of him, worse yet Jay hated him. It was his father all over again. He could hear his mother’s voice in his head as she yelled at him about how his father left her because of him, how his father hated him because he was pathetic and weak. As the words echoed in his mind, his mother’s voice changed to Jay’s and Carlos was on the verge of losing it. He needed to get out, to find a way to drown out the voices, to forget the words he just read. 

Carlos opened the door to leave when he heard a little yap behind him and turned to see Hope at the edge of the bed. Seeing Carlos about to leave she thought it was time to go for a walk but she was still too small to jump off the bed on her own. Looking at her all the anxiety and fear left Carlos and he walked back over to the bed and picked Hope up. 

“You love me don’t you girl?” He meant it to come out a statement of fact but it sounded more like a question. Still Hope attacked his face with her tongue licking him all over causing Carlos to start laughing. And just like that Carlos knew what he was going to do. He was going to bring Jay back. Jay mentioned going back to where it all started...Carlos didn’t like the idea of going back to the Isle of the Lost but he wasn’t afraid anymore. He would do anything for Jay. He was going to need help though and he couldn’t ask any of his friends. Plus they wouldn’t have the skills he needed anyway, what he needed was someone like Jay and he knew exactly who to ask. The question was would Aziz agree to help? Walking over to his desk he picked up Jay’s beanie and put it on as he sat down and pulled out his notebook and started playing how to get back on the island.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I must have written Jay's letter about 15 times. I wanted to show the turmoil that Jay was going through but at the same time didn't want it to read like Jay knew he was in love with Carlos. As for Carlos I wanted to try and show what growing up abused does to someone. How the abuse stays in your mind and colors all your other relationships. I don't know if I succeeded in this chapter but hopefully I was able to lay a good enough groundwork that it will show in future chapter. 
> 
> As always I hope you guys enjoy.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay sees Carlos

Jay sat in his little apartment listening to the sandstorm that raged outside. It was the third storm in as many days and he was beginning to wonder if they would ever end. He was so close to finishing his work and then these storms started up. They would last for hours each time and by the time they were done the streets would be covered in sand. He felt like a little kid, the weather on the island was perfectly controlled by the barrier so he never really experienced any type of storm especially one made of sand. After the first storm Jay thought it would take days for them to clear the streets but to his amazement they were cleared in a matter of hours. When Jasmine came by to see him he bombarded her with questions about the storms and the streets. She told him that this was just the first of many storms that would happen over the coming months and that when Aladdin became Sultan he had the sand system designed and built. Jay didn’t really understand the details, just that a series of machines ran under the streets that took the sand from the city and brought it back out into the desert. He couldn’t help but think how much Carlos would love this stuff and made a mental note that once they were together again he would bring Carlos back here with him. Of course first these stupid storms would have to end. 

Jay got up and walked toward the kitchen, he wasn’t really hungry but boredom always made him want to eat. He walked by the giant mirror that Aladdin and Jasmine had given him. Jasmine said that it had belonged to his Aunt and they had never gotten around to throwing it away so they thought he should have it. According to her it wasn’t magical as they had it checked but as soon as Jay saw it he could sense the power it contained. He guessed it was some sort of magic that only activated when used by a member of his family which is why nobody found out. He remembered hearing his father and aunt talk about it once, at least he guessed it was this mirror they were talking about, but he never heard them say what it did. Which is why Jay normally gave it a lot of space because he was afraid that he would unwittingly release some sort of great evil. The thing was today he somehow felt drawn to it. 

He looked at himself in the mirror and noticed for the first time how much he had changed. It wasn’t really the physical changes, he had always been well developed although now he saw more definition in his muscles. He was especially loving his abs and the V cut of his torso. Carlos was always obsessed about how flat his stomach was, he couldn’t wait to feel his hands as they traced the lines of his six pack. He quickly shook his head trying to clear his mind of that particular thought before he became lost in it. He was sexually frustrated enough right now he didn’t need daydreams of Carlos worshipping his body dominating his thoughts. Instead he focused on his face. Gone was the joking playboy who came from the Isle. He didn’t even see the scared kid who ran from Auradon out of fear he was becoming his father. What he saw in front of him now was confident and filled with hope. 

As much as he tried to avoid it his mind wondered to Carlos and how he was doing. He wished he was with him right now, all these months apart was starting to get to him. What he really wanted was just to see him. Just then the mirror flashed to life and instead of a reflection of himself he was looking at Carlos, well at least the back of Carlos. He was wearing his tourney uniform and Jay couldn’t help but notice how it clinged to his body. He watched as Carlos spun around almost as if he could sense that Jay was looking at him. Jay took in a sharp breath when he saw Carlos’ face - he looked so different from what he remembered. His hair was longer slightly covering his eyes, his white hair making his freckles stand out even more. He looked more defined too. In his mind Carlos was always this skinny little kid, and although he was still thin there was definitely more muscle on his frame. He reached out and placed his hand on the mirror wanting nothing more than to be able to reach through. As he moved his hand away he saw Chad sneak up behind Carlos and place a hand on his shoulder. Carlos jumped not expecting the touch and after Chad said something he watched as Carlos punched him in the face knocking Chad on his ass. Jay let a little “yeah!” as he watched Carlos walk away and Ben run over blocking his view. He tried to will Ben to move out of the way when suddenly the mirror flashed again and he was looking at himself. 

“No, no, no - bring him back...” Jay banged on the mirror frame trying to get the image of Carlos to reappear but nothing happened. Jay dropped to his knees in front of the mirror pleading with it to show him Carlos again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was kinda short but I promise the next one will be much longer as Carlos puts his plan to rescue Jay in motion. Thank you all for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this ended kind of suddenly but I wanted to gauge peoples reactions before I posted more. Plus in my head I have this going where each chapter will be from Carlos' then Jay's point of view. There will be some backtracking in some of the chapters as we delve into each characters thoughts and actions. Always open to criticism and suggestions. Hopefully you find it interesting.


End file.
